hazel dosent want to suffer
by lawwaaa
Summary: Here's my version of what happens to hazel after Augustus dies
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: I dont want to suffer

So...hazel is all alone now , Augustus has sat down on the leather sofa staring at the clock,for the past few days hazel has been counting how many days and hours her love of her life has been dead...its been 2 days 6 hours..hazel just couldn't believe it, everything has been happening all at once !

She's recently been told by her doctor that her lungs are getting worse and she's only going to be living for a few more years,Hazel started thinking, she thought to herself "what's the point in making myself suffer when I know I'm only gonna be alive for a few more years, why don't I just end my life right now so I can be with Augustus and I can die in peace because I don't want to suffer.."

As Hazel thought more about it she was more determined to do it, she was saying to herself "ending my life means no suffering, ending my life means no suffering"

Hazel hadn't thought about what her parents might think, I mean her dad was crying at every doctors appointment they had, if he found out hazel had ended her life, he might end his life himself ! And of course what about hazels mum in all of this !? How would she react to her little baby girl ending her life !? All sorts could happen ! She might get depression and need medical help, it would just wreck the whole family, hazel really needed to think FAST !

**So this is my first chapter of the ending of tfios and what happens to hazel after Gus dies its not that good and its short but my next chapter will be longer ! :) **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:big decisions

Hazel stayed up most of the night thinking about how ending her life could wreck the family,how she knew that if she didn't end her life it would be better for her family but not her.

Hazel really wanted to be with Augustus so much but she knew the only way she could be with him was to die...Hazel punched the wall in anger at the thought of cancer, she said to herself " if It wasn't for cancer Gus wouldn't of died, I would be able to breath ,my dad wouldn't have to cry at doctors appointments and my mum would be happier and not have to run upstairs when she hears a bang just in case I might of fallen on the floor or something."

Hazel was getting angrier now, she had to change the subject before she was about to burst, suddenly her mum came in with this huge smile on her face "hazel, i have some amazing news that you are going to love !" Hazel thought to herself " the only thing that is going to make me happy is if you tell me this is all a dream, and i don't really have cancer and Augustus hasn't died." Hazel's mum carry's on " well recently we have all be feeling really down haven't we, we have literally had no hope for things to get better, so me and your dad decided to try for a baby, so we can see a future in our family and well it worked ! the future of our family is right here!" Hazels mum took Hazels hand and put it on her tummy and said "this is real Hazel , this is the future of our family, your little brother or sister"

Hazel suddenly had this huge gush of anger and said " oh well your okay then now aren't you, you don't have to worry about me dying anymore because your gonna have another child who will probably not have cancer and will probably not date a boy with only one leg !" Hazel suddenly stopped , her mum was crying, but that didn't stop Hazel, Hazel carried on " and by the way mother i'm not going to be here for much longer because i am going to end my life so i can be with Augustus and i don't have to suffer anymore !" Hazel was now out of breath and it wasn't possible for her to say anymore even though she wanted too,her mum came over and sat next to her and said "Hazel,this baby isn't going to change anything between me,you and your dad, you know that we love you ever so much,look i know your angry and you need time too think this through but we really want this Hazel and am sure you will too once you have calmed down,and please you do not feel suicidal Hazel okay? because you are a fighter."

**So this is chapter 2 guys its a little longer,every chapter will get longer and longer :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:stupid baby

The next day Hazel thought and thought about this baby that her mum was having,Hazel really didn't want her too have it i mean imagine being Hazels mum and saying to her " you did have a sister,but she ended her life herself at 16 because she was dying of cancer, Hazel didn't want to do that to a child,it just wouldn't be right.

This baby was stopping Hazel ending her life,Hazel wanted to be with Augustus and die in peace with no suffering, how on earth was she going to do that when there's this baby constantly going to be in the way, she's not going to be able to die in peace !

Hazel got angry again,she had never been this angry in her entire life,Hazel wanted to talk her mum about her having this baby, so she shouted her.

Hazels mum came up all smiley, " yes hazel ?" she said with a big happy smile on her face,hazel didn't want to ruin her mums mood but i guess she had too if she really wanted to go see Augustus, so Hazel took a deep breath and said "Mum,i don't want you to have this baby because i want to end my life and see Augustus and die in peace before my cancer gets really bad and then i will be so ill,i cant have a child being in the way of this, u will be so busy with this child that you probably won't even notice that i am dead and also what would you be able to tell this child about me,the child would be so sad that they didn't have their older sister with them anymore :(

**ok guys sorry if i haven't been adding chapters recently i have just been soooo busy ! But i am back now :) **


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